Bike mechanics.

I rode to the big bike shop, sometime after I got my beautiful first bike from them.
I went to see the mechs, to fix some part or another.

It was freezing cold and about ahour ride. I had never ridden that far, and was still pretty ill. I had to wear about 6 layers , just to keep from shivering in the early morning. I planned to stay at friends house for the day. They being artists, have no heating. My friend who I visit, being a artist owns no warm clothes, except what he wears on his own self.
So proudly I wheeled my bike into the holy of holys, bike shop repair place, pannier lumpy and bulging with jumper I had peeled off as I warmed up. ( even with 12 % body fat, you DO warm up after a half hour or so!)

The mech proceded to look at my bike and indeed myself, with critical eyes. Whats with all the clothes( as they tried to escape from the bag, as I searched for the CC).? Why are you wearing so many ? Thats stupid . All you need is a pair of shorts , a jersey and a light jacket( it was 10o that morning).

Hmm. Big , strong, muscled out man. Metabolism most likely hyped up due to his daily regeim of 90 km ride, filled full of carb cereal goodness.( This was before I could eat quinoa and was forced at that point , due to immune problems, subist on veggies, fruit , potaoes, cheese and honey - thusly suffering a lack of quick fueled carb goodness, which warms you up in the morning and thusly, moved about as fast as koalas due to low caloric content.)
There was I, puny( I mean SMALL - 42 kilos, 5'3 - thats scary), hollow cheeked and somewhat put out.
Why would anyone tell me that I should or should not be cold? Was he stupid? Anyone with a basic understanding of human anatomy knows that women dont put on as much muscle, as men therefore suffer from the cold. I had about as much muscle as say, a banana. Clad in lycra. you could see every ridge and bone. I looked rather like I was ready to do the Hors Category hills.
But that was ok, I figure.

So then he proceded to insult my bike!!
Your bike is ok, but your brakes are shit. You ll have to replace them in time( yeah, I agree now having experienced the buttery goodness of Orbea Onix shifting pleasure). Etc.
Then it turns out I rode 22 km with the wheel lever open ,oop. I amazed that the thing stayed on. But then I hadnt been going all that fast !!

So, first big ride out of bed and hopefully , riding away from decline into invalidism and subsequent ruin of life etc.
My bike is shit. My brakes are crap. Parts will need to be ordered. Im wearing too many clothes, and obviously am stupid. Why ride?!!
I had no iea at that time that bike mechs are notorious for critical judgements. Luckily, Im used to being insulted( I work in retail) so paid very little notice.

Now days, I'm muscular, I own any amount of riding clothes, my new bike is a sleek carbon beauty with brakes that shift like a caress. I can ride 70 km and I could care less if I look like the stay puff marshallow man, as long as I can still move my arms. I know I am getting better.

Take that , bike mech.